You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
