Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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