I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
where are my eyebrows?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
