Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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