So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
