I want to stick my p in your. b.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
