you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
