Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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