he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
