you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
