FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
