Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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