Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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