No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
