They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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