Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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