dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
