that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
