oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
