Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
