If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
