the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
