Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
