What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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