Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
