I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
