dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
