he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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