we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
