i think my mom watched the whole time
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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