She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
