What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My ass is underappreciated
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
