I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
