just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
