hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
