Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
