I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
