the new term for farting is butt boxing.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
