I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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