piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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