Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
