i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
