real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
