Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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