I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
