I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
