Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
