Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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