Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
