So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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