Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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