Pappa wants mamma naked
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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