i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
