Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
