Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
