none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
